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by Somniare



Category: Lewis (TV)
Genre: Christmas, Christmas Tree, Established Relationship, M/M, Memories, Not Canon Compliant, decorations, post-series 8
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-24
Updated: 2014-12-24
Packaged: 2018-03-03 04:51:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,246
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2838641
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Somniare/pseuds/Somniare
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <i>“What are you thinking?”  James was looking curiously at Robbie; James’s eyes were bright and a smile tugged at the corners of his mouth.</i>
</p><p>
  <i>“I’m a bloody lucky man,” Robbie said.</i>
</p>
            </blockquote>





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**Author's Note:**

> With thanks to paperscribe for beta and barcardivodka for Brit/Oxford-pick. 
> 
> All errors, goof, and grammar failings are mine. They are all I own.

 

* * *

  

**AUGUST**

Robbie dropped onto the couch next to James, and gratefully took the opened beer.

“We’re in, lad,” he said as settled back with a soft groan.                                                            

James nodded.  “All we have to do now is find a place for everything.”

“Laura and Innocent have offered to come over and give us a hand.”

“Only so they can have a good nosy.”

Robbie chose to ignore the faint hint of snark.  It had been a bloody long day, and it didn't surprise him that James wasn't in the best of humour.  “True.  But I wouldn't begrudge either of them.  Laura’s been brilliant about everything, and if it wasn't for Innocent, one of us could have been working out of Slough, and it’s unlikely we’d be here now.”

“You may have something there,” James conceded, and Robbie could hear his defensiveness falling away.

“Too bloody right I have.”

James smiled fondly at him, warming Robbie and chasing away the ache in his bones.

It didn't feel as though two years had passed since Robbie had suddenly woken up and realised he loved James, and not as a son.  It had taken Robbie another six months to build up the courage to act upon that epiphany, only to discover James had been waiting patiently for him.

“What if I’d never got there?” Robbie had asked.

James had kissed him.  “You did.  That’s all that matters now.”

They’d moved slowly.  There’d been Lyn to consider, and work, amongst other things.

Surprisingly, to Robbie, work had been the least of their worries.  Neither Robbie nor James wanted to know what strings Innocent had pulled, or how many favours she’d called in, but she’d kept them under the same roof, if not quite in the same team.  The only condition she’d placed on them was James going for promotion.

As for Lyn, she had finally come around after Robbie and James had spent Christmas with her and the family.  She’d told Robbie she could see how happy James made him.

“You’re the dad I remember from before…”  She’d wiped away the sudden tears.  “I’ve been so worried about you, down in Oxford by yourself, with no-one to look out for you, but James has been there for you, hasn't he?”

“Ever since I got back, pet.  It just took me a while to see it.”

Twelve weeks ago – after a few weeks of first deciding what they wanted, and then a couple of months looking – they’d made a successful offer on a semi-detached house in Old Marston.  And today, the last Saturday of summer, they’d finally moved in.  This was their home.

“What are you thinking?”  James was looking curiously at Robbie; James’s eyes were bright and a smile tugged at the corners of his mouth.

“I’m a bloody lucky man,” Robbie said.

“We both are, love.”  
  


* * *

**  
OCTOBER**

James stood nervously behind Robbie as the car pulled into the driveway.  It was Jack’s half-term, and Lyn and the family had come down to Oxford for the break; with three bedrooms, there was more than enough space to accommodate everyone in the house.  Robbie and James had even spent part of the weekend before putting up a swing set in the garden for Jack.  Lyn waved cheerily at them through the windscreen, but James was still slightly on edge.  As if sensing his mood, Robbie found and squeezed James’s hand.

“Dunno what you’re so worried about, pet.  I’ve told you: Lyn loves you.  Everything’ll be fine.”

James wanted to decide that for himself.  It was one thing to know Lyn had accepted his and Robbie’s relationship; James was certain it would be another entirely for Lyn to see them living together.  The few times they’d stayed at Lyn’s, the living arrangements were such that they’d had to sleep in two single beds, and whenever the family had been down to Oxford in the past, they’d stayed at a B&B, Robbie’s one bedroom flat being too small for everyone.

James helped Tim bring the bags from the car.  Ahead of them, Lyn had her arm hooked around Robbie’s elbow, while Jack held his Grandpa’s hand.

“Going to give us the grand tour, dad?” he heard Lyn ask.

“Aye, love.  Where would you like to start?”

“Upstairs.”

“UPSTAIRS!” whooped Jack, and raced in through the open front door.

James stepped back to let Tim enter first, and then followed the small procession up the stairs.

Reaching the top, he saw Robbie and Lyn going into the bedroom he shared with Robbie.  Tim was waiting on the landing.

“Through there, mate.”  James waved Tim towards the guest bedroom opposite.  Jack ran out of the master bedroom and into the other room, following his dad.  James glanced across the hall but could see neither Robbie nor Lyn.

“She really is happy about you and Robbie, you know,” Tim said quietly behind him.  “And this house.  We both are.  Nothing’s changed.”

“Am I that obvious?”  James grimaced.

Tim nodded then shook his head.  “You’re tense; a blind man could see that.  But I know you’re relaxed enough in our place, and around us when we’ve come down in the past, so it has to be because we’re seeing you here, in your home.  You’re worried us seeing you like this will change things.  It won’t.  Lyn’s been so excited about this visit, about seeing Robbie… settled, she said.”

James laughed softly with relief, and then jumped as a pair of arms slipped around his waist from behind.

“It’s true,” Lyn said quietly.  “You’re part of the family now.”

James turned around and hugged her.  “Thank you,” he whispered, his fears laid to rest.  He looked up to see Robbie furtively wipe something from his eye; he smiled at James.  Words were unnecessary.  
  


* * *

**  
LATE NOVEMBER**

James’s car was already parked in its usual spot when Robbie finally arrived home.  Robbie sat in the car, listening to the ticking of the cooling engine, and reflected on his – their – daily life.  Sometimes they travelled together, though it was more usual to need separate cars.  They didn’t see each other as often during the day as they had in the past, with their new positions often drawing them in different directions, but they worked on the same floor and shared the same break room.  However, their new positions also gave them most evenings off-duty together, so, all things considered, Robbie was quite content. 

Stepping out of the car, Robbie glanced around.  He counted six houses with Christmas lights flashing away.  Val had always put up the tree and lights on the first of December; Robbie hadn't had a tree since he’d lost Val.  This was the year that would change.  He and James had already talked about it.

A gust of moisture-laden wind whipped around him.  Robbie shivered and quickly moved inside, closing the door and locking out the cold.  It wasn’t quite snow weather yet, though they were forecasting a white Christmas.  He was slightly envious of Lyn and Tim, who’d be travelling with Tim’s parents to the south of France for their Christmas break.  Next year, Robbie decided, he and James would go away somewhere warmer.  They could have gone away this year, if they’d wanted to, but both wanted to spend this first Christmas in their home.  Although, Robbie thought, looking around the unadorned entryway, they were going to have to do something about decorations soon.

Robbie hung up his coat.  “James, love?”

“Living room.”  James’s voice was muffled, and Robbie peered through the door curiously.

In one corner stood a broad fir tree.  The top almost brushed against the ceiling, making it over eight feet tall.  The tree quivered, and James stepped out from behind.

“What on earth?” Robbie asked slowly.

James’s head tipped to the side.  “It’s a Christmas tree.  A Fraser Fir.”

“I can see that.  Where’d it come from?”

“The Tree Barn, at Christmas Common.”

“Christmas…?  How’d you manage that?  That’s a round trip of well over an hour, and you've been in the office all day.”

“I had to go out to Wallingford to interview a suspect last week.  I may have taken a detour on the way back.”

“Last week?”

James nodded, a pleased smile brightening his face.  “I picked it out then, and they delivered it this afternoon.”

“That’s why you left early?  You told me–”

“I had an appointment.  Which I did.  To be here when this arrived.”

“Why didn't you say so?”

“I wanted it to be a surprise.”

“It is that.”

“You don’t like it.”  James suddenly looked worried and Robbie knew he’d said the wrong thing.

Robbie quickly moved forward and took James in his arms.  “I didn't say that, pet.  You _have_ surprised me, and it’s a wonderful tree.  I just thought we were going to look this weekend, together.”

“I know… then I was in Wallingford, and…”

Robbie quieted him with a kiss.  “I love you.”

James blinked and smiled slowly.  “I bought decorations as well, but I know the first of December is important to–”

Kissing James really was the easiest and most delightful way to stop him talking, Robbie thought, as he pulled James towards the couch.

***

Robbie lay back on the couch, with James curled against his chest.  James nuzzled Robbie’s neck.  On the floor around them lay discarded shirts and trousers.

“You either really, really like the tree,” James murmured, “or you’re not quite ready to decorate.”

“I really like the tree, and I would like to decorate it.  That…”  Robbie traced the length of James’s spine with his fingertips, making James shiver.  “…was more about getting your brain to slow down a bit.”

James chuckled, the sound coming from deep within.  It was rich and warm.  It was home.

“Heard the clock chime; it’s only just gone nine,” Robbie murmured.  “We could still start now, if you like.”

James pushed himself up, propping his hand on the armrest beside Robbie’s head.  “Really?”

“Why not?”

James’s face lit up like a child’s on Christmas morning.  He was on his feet, and tugging Robbie to his, in seconds.

“D’you mind if I get dressed, pet?”  Robbie grinned back at James.  “It’s getting a bit chilly.”

“Shower first?” James waggled his eyebrows.

“Do you want to get this tree decorated tonight?”

“It’s Friday.”  James started walking backwards towards the stairs, pulling Robbie with him.  “We've got all weekend, love.”

***

Robbie opened his eyes to watery winter sunlight making its way through the opened curtains.  He could smell bacon, toast, and coffee.  Below him, in the kitchen, James was humming a Christmas carol – a proper one, Robbie mused, recognising _O Little Town of Bethlehem_.  Unfortunately, as much as he wanted to lie there and enjoy the moment, Robbie’s body was making demands he had to obey.

With the essentials out of the way, Robbie donned a pair of tracky bottoms and a t-shirt, and made his way downstairs.  He watched James in the kitchen as James plated up two full English breakfasts.  Robbie always enjoyed watching James, no matter what he was doing.  The tracky bottoms James wore hung low on his hips, exposing a couple of inches of skin between them and the bottom of James’s too short t-shirt.  Now James was humming _Winter Wonderland_.

When James turned around and grinned slyly, Robbie realised he must have made some sound of appreciation.

“Breakfast first,” James said.  “Then the tree.  After that, however…”

“You’re a cheeky sod.”

“Me?  I’m not the one making–”

“Are those sausages from that new butcher?”  Robbie moved to the table and sat down.

“Changing the subject won’t change my mind.”  James passed one of the plates to Robbie.

“No, but it does mean I’ll get me breakfast while it’s still hot.”

“Let me have my way and it won’t be the only thing you get hot today,” James murmured as he sat down with his own breakfast.

“Promises, promises,” said Robbie with a smile.

“And you know I always keep my promises.”

“I’m counting on it, pet.”

***

For all his earlier suggestiveness, James was now all business as they stood before the tree, its soft fragrance filling the room.  Two boxes sat off to the side, in front of the telly.  Robbie hadn't noticed them the night before, but, he admitted to himself, he had been pleasantly distracted.

“Those the decorations?” Robbie asked.  “Tree’ll tip if you put that lot on it.”

“The smaller box is for the tree; the other is to do this room, and the entry hall and stairs.”

Robbie shook his head in amazement as James opened the box designated for the tree.  “When did you…?”  His eye caught an address label.  “Online.  You bought these on the internet.”

“Of course.”

“Right then.  Let’s have a look.”

James unpacked the box, neatly laying each item out on the coffee table and couch.  It was obvious James had taken great care in his choices – Robbie would have expected no less.  He picked up a box of star ornaments, turning it over slowly in his hands.  It was then he noticed James looking at him nervously.

“I… I know I should have asked you,” James stammered, “and not–”

“They’re beautiful, pet.”  He stepped closer and caressed James’s cheek.  “Besides, I’m the last person you would have wanted to ask.  I always left it up to Val and the kids.”

The lines in James’s forehead disappeared as his expression softened.  “Lights, tinsel, then baubles?” he asked softly.

Robbie nodded.  “Tell me what you want me to do.”

They worked together quietly, with Bach’s Christmas Oratorio playing in the background.  James seemed to be working to a plan in his head, as he was quite precise about what went where.  Robbie was happy to follow his lead.  When it was done, Robbie made tea for both of them, while James disposed of the various bits of packaging.  They sat down together on the couch to admire their handiwork.

James had primarily chosen decorations in silver and various shades of purple.  Against the soft needles of the tree, the effect was stunning.  However, for Robbie something was missing, and a weight settled on his heart.

“What is it?”  James spoke gently, concern etched on his face.  His hand rested on Robbie’s knee.  “I know that look.  Something’s not right.”

Robbie stroked the back of James’s hand with his thumb as he thought.  If there was ever a time for past and present to merge, it was at Christmas.  He’d avoided doing so for many years, but now the time had come.

“Give me a minute, pet,” he said, and rose slowly to his feet.  Robbie could feel James’s eyes following him as he made his way up the stairs.

Robbie found the shoe box in the small trunk in the loft.  It was clumsily covered with Christmas paper, and had been kept in the trunk for many years; the last time Robbie had looked inside had been shortly after his return from secondment, just after he’d met James.

He carried it carefully back to the living room.  James hadn't moved, and he watched Robbie closely.

Sitting down, Robbie put the box on the coffee table and took the lid off.  Inside were a number of items, all wrapped in tissue paper, and some also in bubble wrap.

“Our Lyn made up this box when she was eight or nine.”  Robbie’s voice was husky.  “It became one of those things I could never throw out.”

James scooted a little closer, and Robbie was grateful for the warmth of him pressed against his side.  Robbie lifted the first item from the box and carefully unwrapped it.

Underneath the layers was a very lumpy clay star, with ‘lyn’ etched in the middle.  The ‘y’ had been written backwards, and scattered over the surface of the star were small uneven indents.  “It used to be covered in wee coloured stones,” Robbie explained.  “But they've fallen out over the years.  Lyn made it when she was in Nursery school.” 

Robbie could feel James holding his breath.  Robbie talked about his past only slightly more than James did, so between them there was a lot each didn’t know about the other.  Robbie wondered if James had ever made decorations for his family tree, and if he did, whether someone had kept them.  James was so still, Robbie was starting to think bringing the box out had been a poor decision.

James reached across and, almost reverently, took the star from Robbie’s hand.  He cradled it in his own, before placing it carefully on the coffee table.  Silently, James pointed at another of the small packages.

One by one, Robbie opened each up, and James laid them out.

“Lyn made this one as well.”  Robbie revealed a reindeer made from wooden pegs; it had one goggle eye, and what was once a pipe cleaner formed the antlers.  “We lost this one for a few years, an’ eventually found it at the bottom of Mark’s Lego box.  Cheeky sod blamed the neighbour’s cat.”

The third was a bell shape, made from thin ply and covered in a paper collage of the decidedly non-traditional Christmas colours of black and white.  “Our Mark made that at Nursery.  He was well pleased with it.” 

“Black and white?”

“Newcastle strip, man.  We moved to Oxford the following year.”

The next decoration to be unwrapped was a felt angel.  “Lyn made that at Brownies.”  The two halves had been sewn together with an uneven blanket stitch and small tufts of stuffing were poking out of the gaps.

A very light package was revealed to be a string of different sized cardboard stars, alternating yellow and blue.  “Our Mark again,” Robbie said quietly.

“Let me guess: Oxford United’s strip?”

“Aye.  Made that our first Christmas here.  Pleased his mam no end.”

The second to last item was the largest in the box.  It was made of ply, like the bell, in the shape of a Christmas tree.  It had been painted green, with four small hand drawn portraits cut into circles to look like baubles on the tree.  Each face was labelled: Dad, Mum, Lyn, Mark.

“Mark and Lyn made that one together the year they both had chicken pox.  They made four, one for each of us.  Lyn still has hers – and Mark’s – and we put one in Val’s coffin.”  Robbie closed his eyes as James squeezed his hand and softly kissed his cheek.

The last item in the box had been wrapped with extra care.  It was a wreath made from tiny coloured glass beads.  In the centre of the wreath was a small circular silver frame with a photo of Val.  “Our Lyn made that on the first anniversary of…”  Robbie took a deep, settling breath.  “I took it with me when I went on secondment.  It was the only decoration I put up the two Christmases I was there.  When I came home, I tucked it at the bottom of the box.  I felt it would be safer there, secured under the other memories.”

James’s arms wrapped around him, and Robbie sank into the embrace.  They sat quietly for a few minutes.  James pressed a kiss to Robbie’s forehead. 

“Let’s find the right place on the tree for these,” James murmured.  He stood and drew Robbie to his feet and together they hung each ornament with care.

The beaded wreath was placed just below the star.

They hugged in front of the now complete tree.

“Thanks, pet.”  Robbie’s voice was muffled against James’s chest.

“It’s only right they’re on the tree; I’m glad you showed me.  We’re all family now.”

“That we are, James, love.  That we are.”  
  


* * *

**  
CHRISTMAS EVE**

“What time were you planning on leaving?” Robbie asked as he entered the living room.

James looked up, and frowned in confusion.

“ _I’m_ going in about ten minutes.  Where are _you_ going?  I thought you were getting ready for bed.”

“Changed me mind.  Thought I’d go with you instead.”

“You want to come to Midnight Mass?”

“Yeah.”

“This isn't our first Christmas together; you've never wanted to come to Mass before.  Why now?  Don’t get me wrong,” James added hurriedly.  “I’m pleased you want to.  I’m just… curious.”

“In the past, I’ve dismissed it without giving it a chance, an’ that wasn't fair to you.”  James opened his mouth to protest and Robbie gently pressed a finger to James’s lips to hush him.  “For as long as I’ve known you, you make the effort to get to Mass at Christmas; it’s important to you.  The very least I can do is to go with you so I can make an informed decision.”

The way James kissed him, they almost didn't get there.

***

The service was more engaging than Robbie had expected.  And, as an added bonus, he got to listen to James sing.  James occasionally sang at home, but in the church, where his voice could mingle with others, he relaxed and sang more freely than Robbie had ever heard before.  Robbie knew damn well the point of Midnight Mass wasn't so you could hear your partner sing, but it was a good enough reason for him to want to repeat the occasion.  Not that he’d tell James.

“Well?” James asked him when they were in the car.  Robbie could tell he’d been itching to ask since the service ended, but they’d been stopped several times by people who wanted to talk to James.

“It was nice.  I’m glad I came.”

“Honestly?”

“Honestly, pet.  I’d tell you if I weren't, wouldn't I?”  James nodded and smiled fondly.  “Right, then.  Home, James.”

***

Back inside the dry warmth of their home, James went to make cocoa while Robbie got changed.  A hot drink at that time of the morning probably wasn't the best idea, but they’d both felt they needed to wind down a little before bed.

When Robbie returned to the kitchen, there was a small gift box, tied with a ribbon, on the kitchen table.  He stepped up behind James and wrapped his arm around James’s waist.

“Thought we agreed no presents until after breakfast?”

“This one’s different,” James said quietly.  “Sit.  I’ll bring the drinks over.”

James carried the two mugs to the table and sat down.  There was a slight tremor in his hand as he slid one mug across to Robbie.

“Shall I open it now?” Robbie asked.  James nodded nervously and Robbie’s curiosity soared.

Robbie tugged at the tail of ribbon and the bow fell away.  He took the lid off the box.  Inside was a bauble, but not just any bauble.  This one had been skilfully covered in fine silver, purple, and green glitter, patterned like a striped beach ball.  Loose glitter dusted the bottom of the box.  This wasn't picked up in a shop or bought online.  He looked at James.

“Did you make this?”  James nodded.  “When did you…?”

“I worked on it on the odd nights I knew you’d be working later than me.  Then I hid it at the back of my sock drawer.”

“Your sock drawer?”

“It had to be somewhere you wouldn't accidentally see it.  I’ve watched you put the laundry away; you open the sock drawer just enough to drop the clean pairs in.  Any other drawer is opened fully so you can place the folded clothes inside neatly.”

“Do you remember everything you see me do in such detail?”

“Of course.  I like watching you.”

Robbie chuckled as he gently lifted the bauble out of the box by a silver loop attached to the top.  It spun slowly, revealing an image of him and James.  It was one Robbie had never seen before.

James was kissing Robbie’s cheek and Robbie’s eyes were shyly lowered.  He looked young… and deeply in love.

“Where…?”

“It was one of the photos Lyn took when the family was down at half-term.”

“I thought I’d seen all of those.  I don’t remember this one.”

“Lyn showed it to me just after she took it – you were putting Jack to bed.  I asked her not to show you.”

“Why?”

“As soon as I saw it I knew I wanted to do something special with it.  I _was_ thinking of a framed print for the bedroom; then you brought out _those_ decorations, and the memories attached, and I thought…”

Robbie’s vision blurred as tears welled.

“Was that the wrong thing to do?” James stammered softly.

“No, bonny lad.  It was the perfect thing to do.”  Robbie’s voice was tight with unshed tears of love and joy.  “And I know exactly where it should go.”

***

The lights on the tree were the only illumination, and the changing colours reflected off the silver in the room.  James held Robbie in his arms as they sat on the couch in front of the tree.  Robbie had placed the bauble near the top of the tree, adjacent to the bead wreath.  Now, Val appeared to gaze lovingly at the image of Robbie and James.  James had been uncertain of the placement.  Robbie had reassured him.

“It was something our Lyn said made me think of it.  She said she always believed her mam would want me to be happy, no matter what, and if I was truly happy, then, wherever she was, she’d be happy too.”  He kissed James tenderly.  “And I am truly happy.  Merry Christmas, pet.”

James rested his forehead against Robbie’s.  “Merry Christmas, love.”

 


End file.
